Hopefully this is the daylog to which I was referred for the purposes of evaluating my sense of humor
On the oft-heard topic of 'my martial arts school/style is better than yours':
Our white belts can beat up your black belts, yellow belts will take on your whole school and mop up your extended families for dessert, orange belts tie one hand behind their back and challenge bulls and bears to unarmed combat. Green belts chop down giant sequoias with their bare hands, scoffing at the EPA all the while, purple belts put their underwear on their head at night to fight super villains, blue belts achieve enlightenment every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Brown belts don't bother with their tax returns, red belts break bricks with their mind and can start a fire by vigorously rubbing their legs together, red-black stripes crack pavement and terrorize livestock with their mere presence, black belts cause quantum singularities at the impact of every punch, and the Master creates sentient life from common household cleaning products.