My grandfather died before my first birthday, so I can't remember him at all. Growing up I was told that he died in an accident, but no one ever really said much about it. The story that I can remember goes as follows:

My grandfather was out for a walk one night near Toronto's waterfront and he somehow had either lost or forgotten his glasses, so he couldn't see very well. From certain points at the waterfront you can see Toronto island very easily and it's pretty close to the mainland. Apparently, in his eyeglassless vision, my grandfather mistook the lights on the island for the city's mainland lights and fell off a walkway into 20ft. water and drowned.

As a kid, I never questioned this. Only recently have I begun to think back and realize that something's wrong with the story.

It seems strange that he would mistake lights on an island for lights on the mainland. The mainland lights would be a lot closer and the walkways would have been lit. The noise factor would also have made a big difference: there would have been sounds of cars and other people nearby on the mainland, but the only sounds from the direction of the island would have been waves and seagulls and perhaps a passing boat.

The two likely scenarios I've come up with are that he was either murdered or commited suicide. Suicide seems like the most likely situation because I seem to recall that he had bouts of depression (although I don't know why I know this). He could have chained weights to himself and jumped in the lake. Of course, someone could have murdered him and tossed the body. My only real problem with that is the location: if I were going to murder someone I'd pick somewhere else to dump the body. The Scarborough Bluffs are only a 20 minute drive from there and would make an ideal burial spot.

I only wish that I could work up the nerve to ask my parents. I just can't find the words to say "did grandpa kill himself?"