I sat down with my legs bent, knees up, with my hands resting between. I then attempted meditation.
I failed quite miserably considering most other times. I couldn't seem to avoid distraction.
I looked at my watch. It had been about a minute since I closed my eyes. I started thinking about some comments my friends made before my HSC physics test the day before.
It was about Teagan. Daniel had asked me if I had asked her out. I said yeah; I'd asked her out about a month ago. He said "You do realise she's got a boyfriend...?"
"Yeah, now she does."
Chris commented that he had talked to her at work, and asked her if there was anything going on between me and her. She had said no.
I thought, well, the time before last we spoke, I was asking her out on the phone. She said she had too much study and work to do. I said "I might call you after the exams then." The last time I spoke to her, she came up to me, with a smile, saying she'd finished her exams...
Further, I thought, Teagan is a colossal flirt, and whatever was going on between me and her was hardly enough to mention to Chris, considering she probably had the same sort of thing going with most guys she'd ever talked to. Then, must be considered, the possibility that at that time she was also trying to tune Chris.
Then I thought, of course, these reasons aren't real, they're just excuses for my ego. I couldn't accept this thought as truth, but it allowed for the possibility that Teagan was never attracted to me in the first place.
I started to roll a cigarette, with Venti, Ranch filters and Drum.
A car pulled up about two metres in front of me. A voice said "What are you doing?" I said "I'm rolling a cigarette." It was an acquaintance of mine, Veronica. Apparently she's somewhat interested in my friend Will, but he has failed to call her for some inexplicable reason.
She said she was going to Newcastle, and she'd better leave because she was parked in a no-standing zone. She drove off.
I migrated to the other side of the road, and began to meditate.
This time I had more success. I retreated fully inside myself. I forgot to think.
When I opened my eyes, about twenty minutes had passed.
Aleister Crowley says that when one achieves a state where one retreats so far inside that one is no longer conscious of self, one becomes invisible.
I, however, regained my self-consciousness after my meditation, but when I reached the Lorn benches, although my friends and acquaintances were all around, it took a while for anyone to notice my presence. I think I even spoke before they noticed me.
"Holy shit! Where did you spring from? Did you just pop up out from the dirt or something?"
"Gee... I've been sitting here for about five minutes man."
My theory on this phenomenon is that when one is fully introspective, the consciousness, the aura, and probably physical manifestations of such things (pheromones and other smells) will be retained, making the body less noticable.
Later that night, my good friend Clemo and his girlfriend Jo were having a fight.
"Call me a drug-addict will she - I've had two bong free days in the last week!"
I wish he could hear himself say that.