user since
Tue Jul 22 2003 at 14:42:48 (16.5 years ago )
last seen
Sat Nov 30 2019 at 18:51:04 (1.7 months ago )
number of write-ups
35 - View ceylonbreakfast's writeups (feed)
level / experience
5 (Crafter) / 1548
mission drive within everything
To help make the world a smarter place, and get smarter myself while I'm at it.
specialties
hymnody, litcrit, office supplies
school/company
UC@B
motto
"Get back to work!"
most recent writeup
Wieland; or, The Transformation
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Update: I'm in Paris! I'm here until Oct. 2, improving my bootleg French.


The wind howled as she sailed intrepidly over the sharp tips of the bluebooks, a #2 Bic mechanical pencil her only defense against the flapping of their inky pages. An insipid comment about Frost assailed her, and though she leapt away, it left a red gash on her thigh. Around her she could hear the crashes of incorrect scansions, the intentional fallacy, and unsubstantiated claims. Missing textual citations rippled the air, as trite phrases about imagination and reality in Stevens showered from above, leaving her wounded and gasping for breath.

"DO YOU SURRENDER?? DO YOU SURRENDER??," she heard above the din. Another egregious misreading exploded to her left, narrowly missing her and sending her sprawling on the deck.

For a moment, all she could see was the pitch and roll of bluebooks, the spike and loop of messy handwriting, and the black, black cloud of smoke that belched forth with each deadly split infinitive.

"DO YOU SURRENDER??"

The bluebooks whirled around her, gaps in logic filling the thick air.

She stood up, pencil in hand.

"DO YOU SURRENDER??"

Taking a deep breath, she drew on all her strength to face the heavy storm of unarticulated warrants and aimless paragraphs. Defiantly, she yelled,

"I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO GRADE!"


One of my fantasies is to work in an anonymous office and sneak out once a week for clandestine sessions of polyphony.

Actually, I have done this.


I had what all the kids are reading editor-cooled by jessicapierce. I'm so flattered!

American Literature

African-American Studies

Idiosyncrasies


To upvote later, when I have more votes: