Man, have I’ve got a sure fire case of the “guilts” today.

Most of you folks who “know” me here at E2 know how much I try and dote an my kid. I write about her often because I think she’s such an easy subject and I think by having her in my life, I’ve become a better person. Most of you also know that she posts some stuff here on a sporadic basis. For what it’s worth, the majority of it has been well received.

I like to think of myself as a good father. Someone who is patient and attentive to the needs of their kid. I screwed up last night.

Ever since this, my schedule with her has been a little topsy turvy. Often, arrangements between me and my ex are made at the last minute depending on our alternating schedules. I don’t like it but I guess it’s better than nothing. I’m not trying to make excuses for what occurred last night, there isn’t one. Even though, at times, my life can be pretty hectic, I should know better.

This was not “my week” to have my kid. My ex was with her and I figured that was that. I’d pick her up as normal on Friday (today) and we’d move on with our lives as we normally do. So, this being Thursday evening I figured I’d head out and have a couple of beers with some of my friends.

About 9:30 or so, my phone rang. Figuring it was too late for telemarketers or bill collectors, I picked up the phone. It was my ex’s father, Anna’s grandfather. I figured to myself “this is odd” because since my divorce, I haven’t had much contact with my former in-laws. I braced myself for bad news.

He informed me that Anna was with them and that my ex was out of town. Was I aware though, that I was supposed to pick her up at school last night?

Holy shit! Did you ever have one of those moments when you suddenly remember something that is really important that you had forgotten about? The conversation I had with my ex about a week ago echoed in my head at that very instant. I had agreed to pick up on Thursday! I totally freakin’ forgot!

I asked him if he wanted me to come get her and he said no, they would take her to school today. I felt like shit when I hung up the phone.

I got to work as usual this morning. As I arrived at my desk I saw that I had a message on voice mail. This is pretty odd because I usually clear ‘em out before I leave and I get in the office pretty early. I replayed the message and I heard the voice of my kid…

Borgette: “Hi dad, it’s just me Anna, I thought you might still be at work. It’s about twenty after six and I’m still at school. I thought you were going to pick me up. Everybody but the teacher has left. Mom is out of town. I guess you’re not there. Bye!”

I’m kicking myself today. I feel like an idiot and a bad parent. I’m sure word will leak back to my ex and they’ll be all sorts of explanations that will have to be made. Hopefully, the accusations and recriminations will be kept to a minimum. I figure I’ll just admit that I screwed up, promise it will never happen again, and be humble and await the inevitable consequences.

One last thing – ”Honey, daddy is so, so sorry!”