I am not a steel wall. Things do not
bounce off of me like a
tennis ball, although sometimes I wish they would. The other day, someone yelled "
you're ugly!" out a car window at me, and it hurt. Even though I knew it was random, even though they were
assholes and would have done it to anyone, even though it was
raining and I was wearing a hood so
they couldn't see my face, it still turned me into a
quivering idiot. The
rain fell harder, the
traffic seemed noisier, the
rampant curl on my head seemed even more
rampant. I want so desperately to be able to
turn the other cheek and forget, but I can't. This is the way I am. You may laugh at me and call me
weak. Well, so be it. I am not weak. I feel things, that's all. If this writeup gets voted down, I admit, it will hurt me more than it should, even though I try really hard not to pay attention to
voting and concentrate on writing what's
real. I am being truthful, not looking for pity. This is why I cry. This is why, sometimes, I fell
puny and small.
I'm sick of all this "who cares what other people think" bullshit. I cannot be blind to others. Yes, I am proud of who I am. Yes, I love the person I've become. And yes, it hurts me when other people disagree.