It is often said, 'when I'm with her/him/them, I'm not myself'. This is of course misleading. What we mean is that we are the worst of ourself. We cannot be anything other than who we are.

I believe the difference is whether you are a proactive self or a reactionary self. We must all be partially reactionary, we do not live in a vacuum. However, when we are completely reactionary, we lose control, or more accurately, give up control, of our authentic self.

Think about someone that you dislike or that manages to always upset you.

Parents are usually a good choice.

'When I'm with my parents, I'm not myself'. No, you react to who they are, in this case in a negative way, and therefore ignore your authentic self.

This is why we tend to blame others. It is easier than having to think about it and admit it is me that has chosen anger, spite, jealousy, greed, hostility etc. Much easier to say, 'he made me angry'.

Of course, this is psychologically and sociologically open to debate. Do we have a core personality or are we many selves? I suppose my argument falls under core personality theory. I do believe there is one true, authentic self. The rest is untidiness. You can split up a meal into many portions. In fact, some portions may be tastier than others. But it remains one meal.

So if I believe there is only one self (that's right, no need for the capital), then what's the point of searching for your authentic self? It's already there, surely? Yes, of course.

Authenticity is not about stamping out the negative, or about finding who you are. It is about awareness and keeping your self tidy. The negative is part of you, you can modify it if you are aware of it and understand it.

Knowing yourself means discovering who you were meant to be. As I am spiritually inclined, I do believe there is only one way I was created and meant to be. Modifications only existed with social integration.

So life has many reasons, one of the objects is to learn your self. You began as an unblemished soul, and that is what you will return.

What is of this earth is never absolute. We are temporal beings and the earth would be a dull place without subjectivity. What is of the other dimensions is absolute.