Reality TV Show Idea I
Last night, while watching Joe Millionaire
, I conceived of this reality show called Cyrano the Molester
. It's like this. They get two guys.
Guy One is a 55-year-old average looking man who happens to be a Nobel
-prize winning poet
. While unattractive outwardly, inwardly he's beautiful. He can write poetry and prose that makes you cry, makes you see the hidden joy in the world, and if he turns his pen to the subject of you, he can make you feel like the most important and beautiful woman on the planet. Problem is, despite his honeyed words
and respectable bank account, he can't dress himself and he smells just a bit.
Guy Two is this incredibly handsome
, tall man. He has dark curly hair, green eyes, swimmer's body. He just happens to be a convicted child molester
with an ex-wife who has a restraining order
against him. Although he denies it, he tried to run her down with an SUV
after he found out she started dating again after several years of exile in a mental health clinic.
This information is, of course, not revealed to the women contestants until the finale, which gets run up against Superbowl.
Now the set up is the handsome child molester is your typical millionaire
looking for a wife. But the gimmick is he's apparently a mute
. Can't utter a word. The only way the women can communicate with him is when they're NOT on dates, via email
chat. Right so this is where the old poet guy comes into the picture. He seduces them with his words and poetry. Since this is TV and watching people type to each other gets pretty boring, I'm thinking an alternative is the handsome child molester is outfitted with this experimental Stephen Hawking
box. All the conversation that comes out of the squawk box
is generated by the ugly
poet. The handsome child molester just pretends like he's typing out convo on his little keypad.
Right, so in the show finale, the last standing woman is told of the ruse: the handsome man has an IQ
of 95 and is a convicted child molester and has no ambition beyond wanting to spend the rest of his life on your couch playing Sony Playstation
. The man who seduced them with his beautiful words is a smelly old poet guy, who just happens to have a million in the bank courtesy of Alfred Nobel
who made millions inventing TNT
and then had a guilty conscience later in life.
She must now choose!