Reality TV Show Idea I
Last night, while watching
Joe Millionaire, I conceived of this reality show called
Cyrano the Molester. It's like this. They get two guys.
Guy One
Guy One is a 55-year-old average looking man who happens to be a
Nobel-prize winning
poet. While unattractive outwardly, inwardly he's beautiful. He can write poetry and prose that makes you cry, makes you see the hidden joy in the world, and if he turns his pen to the subject of you, he can make you feel like the most important and beautiful woman on the planet. Problem is, despite his
honeyed words and respectable bank account, he can't dress himself and he smells just a bit.
Guy Two
Guy Two is this incredibly
handsome, tall man. He has dark curly hair, green eyes, swimmer's body. He just happens to be a convicted
child molester with an ex-wife who has a
restraining order against him. Although he denies it, he tried to run her down with an
SUV after he found out she started dating again after several years of exile in a mental health clinic.
This information is, of course, not revealed to the women contestants until the finale, which gets run up against Superbowl.
Now the set up is the handsome child molester is your typical
millionaire looking for a wife. But the gimmick is he's apparently a
mute. Can't utter a word. The only way the women can communicate with him is when they're NOT on dates, via
email and
MSN chat. Right so this is where the old poet guy comes into the picture. He seduces them with his words and poetry. Since this is TV and watching people type to each other gets pretty boring, I'm thinking an alternative is the handsome child molester is outfitted with this experimental
Stephen Hawking type
squawk box. All the conversation that comes out of the
squawk box is generated by the
ugly poet. The handsome child molester just pretends like he's typing out convo on his little keypad.
Right, so in the show finale, the last standing woman is told of the ruse: the handsome man has an
IQ of 95 and is a convicted child molester and has no ambition beyond wanting to spend the rest of his life on your couch playing
Sony Playstation. The man who seduced them with his beautiful words is a smelly old poet guy, who just happens to have a million in the bank courtesy of
Alfred Nobel who made millions inventing
TNT and then had a guilty conscience later in life.
She must now choose!