In a way, in the sense of becoming, of blooming, blossoming

I was giving away my name, laying out my eyes on the table before me

slowly I asked for; something.


I don´t think it ever came to that

patience, guidance, maybe reluctance at the facts and the defeat

but you cannot win if you cannot lose

My dad´s words are ringing against invisible nets in the back of my mind

vibrating; catching flies with honey

Kill it with kindness

and I will never need any weapons nor any claws

now just moving steadily and even more stealthily, a shadow is sweeping

my memories and tidying up in my soul, we can´t have ruins and castles

and all this bullshit has got to go


With it I go


leaving by the backdoor, handing over the keys to me, the monster; the animal; the perpetrator

cleaning up my life.