There is something perversely comforting
about recognizing a fellow Self Injurer's scars
. Those thin white lines
on an inner forearm
or a couple of purple slashes
across a bicep
are as immediately identifiable, and bring a similar sense of kinship
, as an esoteric movie reference
or an obscure band t-shirt
. And, like those things, many times you find you have nothing in common
with the person except that at some time you both cut or burned yourselves, but the feeling of knowing something intimate and not necessarily obvious
that you share, remains. Self Injurers are more observant of the flaws on other people's skin
, possibly from the self-scrutiny
that comes from trying to be so careful about hiding fresh wounds
People who have never engaged in self injury would be amazed how many do. Self Injurers often feel very defensive about their chosen form of self-destruction, because they feel it doesn't really hurt anyone, the wounds heal, and it helps them cope. It is often hard for them to understand people's horror at their actions, but for a non-Self Injurer it is impossible to understand how maiming yourself could be theraputic. The three most harmful aspects of Self Injury are that it causes the people who care about Self Injurers a great deal of worry and upset, an injury may be made more severe than intended, and it can be a gateway to suicide attempts. One reason for Self Injury not mentioned above is that often with deep depresion comes an overwhelming numbness that permeates both your body and your emotions. Many times the pain and then subsequent endorphins realeased after injuring yourself are the only things you can really feel, and feeling anything seems better than nothing.
Often, in that state, you feel that the misery you bear isn't enough, that you deserve more pain.