One more milestone in the march of progress towards a time when I will not have to do laundry unless there is visible dirt all over whatever article of clothing it is I'm trying to wear.

First came Febreze. I discovered this miraculous spray-on product that actually somehow (I suspect manipulation of the space-time fabric) removes odors from clothes . . . and I was overjoyed. Pick up a t-shirt off the floor, question self: "How many times have I worn this since I last washed it?" Inhale deeply. Determine, "Probably a few." Just to be on the safe side, "'Breze It, Baby!"

Yes, we of the "fuck it" generation have a slang term for it. Febreze, however, in all of its glory and goodness, has one shortcoming: after whatever technically disgusting article of clothing you wish to wear has been lying on your floor for several cycles, it acquires a personality of its own, and one of the key traits of this personality is severe wrinkling.

With the advent of this wonder-bottle, though, all ya gotta do is spray the wrinkle stuff on it, put it on a clothes hanger, and "snap it" (you know, like your mother used to do with freshly cleaned clothes, you pick it up, and with a quick motion, lower it quickly so that the fabric flaps and some of the wrinkles come out). Then, hang it up, let it dry for a min (if necessary, use a blow dryer), then 'breze it, and its just like washed!

By the way, yes, I have found this to be more effective than applying Febreze and THEN Downy Wrinkle Releaser. The wrinkle releaser stuff actually smells kinda girly, and so you have to cancel it out somehow.

I may never do laundry again. What a brave new world I inhabit!