Blood from a Stone
(or a psychological examination of the forced creative process as expressed using the 5 stages of grief)
To be done in the tone of a 1950's instructional
filmstrip
Parts:
Narrator - our guide through the mysteries of science. Scholarly voice, firm stage persence. The voice of authority. They will stand to the side of the stage and describe the various actions of the
protagonist. A pipe and a
labcoat would not hurt.
The Artiste - long suffering
artist, decked out in the traditional grab of a sterotypical
French painter (black beret, striped shirt, pencil thin
mustache). They will illustrate the various stages of the creative process.
SCENE:
Narrator: What is the
creative process? Since the first caveman painted impressions of the
terrible thunderlizards that plagued his daily life, other
less creative men have wondered "How does he do it?". Only now, with the birth of the
Atomic Age, has science advanced to a stage where we can begin to understand the inner workings of the mythical "
artist" (
fingerquote here for emphasis)
(enter The Artiste)
The Artiste: Ah, what a beautiful day. I feel the creativity bubbling in my veins like fine French Roast!
Narrator: Science abhors
abstract concepts, like
love and
puppies. In order to examine the true process of art, we must now set the terms of the experiment. Lets watch!
The Artiste: (singing verses of
Frere Jaqcues under his breath) Alor, what is this? A letter, from my rich benefactor, without whom I would be a
destitute bum.
Narrator: The game is afoot. Watch now as we ride the
rollercoaster of forced creativity!
The Artiste: (Reading, then dropping letter in shock)
Sacre Bleu! A painting due by noon! It is 10:30!
Narrator: First,
denial...
The Artiste: I refuse! It cannot be true!
Narrator: Next, savory
anger!
The Artiste: He is a mad man! I cannot be rushed!
Narrator: Now,
salty bargaining...
The Artiste: Perhaps this is a mistake? Have I misread zee letter?
Narrator: The subject now falls into
tangy depression...
The Artiste: (plaintive whimpering)
Narrator: and finally, sweet
acceptance.
The Artiste: (a
Gaulic shrug) Oh well. I can always get a job as a
waiter.
Narrator: Don't you just love
science?
END SCENE