Stuff has taught me about myself today (as if I needed to be told):

I am 34% Un-telligent
   The average is around 60% today. The test claimed I had a bad sense of humor, godlike sense of morality, and a total lack of self-esteem. Fit me to a tee, I believe.

I will die on November 27, 2063.
   So sad. I'll be 79 years old. Both sides of my family have a history of living to ages of 100+, actually. Only females, though; looks like I'm still good as dead. BTW... Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

I have an IQ of 155
    Yeah, right... don't believe everything you read. The average is supposed to be about a 100; thespark had males averaging 104. Einstein was said to be in the 180s. Like I always say, IQ doesn't mean a damn thing.

I am 19% bastard, with 10% tard.
    The average is something like 44%. This absurd rating is undoubtedly due to my being a complete pansy; anti-war and vegan, and an established pacifist. I'm sorry mom, looks like if Social Darwinism reigned supreme I'd be bacon right now.

I am apparently a woman.
    News to me. This is tragically not the first time, either. One time, a public speaker came to our school (spoke to us about inner city violence or something), and I raised my hand, and he called out "Yes you there, miss, with the long hair... wait a minute... oh my god, you're a boy!" Horrible laughing followed. Real funny, I tell ya, made me want to naw my arm off. Personally, I have always considered genderizing to be totally demeaning, and I quite am happy to screw the system in this case.

As a straight guy, I am 22% gay.
    You would think that me being so feminine that it would be way above average or something. A typical straight guy is 39% gay. I suppose I am confident in my sexuality in real life, and consider myself to be straight and I have half a dozen friends who are homosexual or bi-sexual. I think that homophobia all too rapent in society, and we should all be able to move beyond superficial differences, blah, blah, blah.

I am 36% greedy.
    To all the people in Mexico: I'm sorry I don't pitch in when it comes to the beer pool.

I am 83% pure.
    Not exactly a clean slate, but good enough for government work.

I have a 12% stress average.
    Tell that to my physics teacher. Yeesh.

I am going to be a millionaire by the age of 39.
    Absurd, but certainly a nice thought.

I am not pregnant (no kidding!), but I will have 2 male children who have a 7% chance of infant-acne.
    I was kind of thinking of one, or adopting. There are enough people in this world as it is. But I could always be wrong. Anyways, I'm certain tea-tree oil will clear that infant-acne right up.