In Emacs, a command:

M-x doctor

A psychiatrist living inside your computer! (probably years and years and years before Dr. Sbaitso =)

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

The doctor is able to talk of your problems in variety of ways. It can talk of variety of topics (the sort of topics you often meet in academic environments where this program rose from).

The doctor can also be made to talk with Zippy the Pinhead with command M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead. (The doctor is well prepared: "Yow! Are we interactive yet?")

It might also be worth noting that the program was censored by RMS when the CDA was up, but fortunately the new versions know naughty words again...