Setting: American inner city, 8:58 P.M.

Mr. Chang stares out the barred window of his family-owned Quik-Stop. It is a dismal, rainy night, not exactly the best for business. Perhaps closing the store a couple minutes early wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. He knows that Ling worries about her husband working these night shifts.

Just as Mr. Chang begins to shut things down, a beat-up Seville speeds up to his shop, its front tires finally coming to rest on the sidewalk. Out pour Spike, Blade, and Hammer, each brandishing a machete larger than Mr. Chang's head. In his other hand, Hammer holds his trademark Louisville Slugger, with which he sets about smashing the shelves in the back of the store. Blade, still bragging to his friends about the previous night's sexual conquest, pops open the fridge and starts to look for a Coke to quench his thirst. Spike walks up to the counter, his 7-foot, 280-pound frame too large to even completely fit in the security camera's range of view. And it looks like he's been having a bad day.

His request is that Mr. Chang open up the cash register. Mr. Chang quivers, hoping that the gang does not recognize him as the shopkeeper who got their friend Cowboy sent to the slammer.

Quiz: How is Mr. Chang most likely to defend his store and his person?

a) Explaining to Spike that tonight's business has not been very profitable, and suggesting that he come back another night when there is more money in the register.
b) Whipping out his own knife and engaging his guests in hand-to-hand combat.
c) Pulling out his shotgun and pointing it at Spike, while calmly suggesting that the criminals leave his store, as he has also been having a bad day.

This "fictional" tale is played out dozens of times each night in America. Happily, more often than not, no one ends up hurt. Hmmm, I wonder how that's possible...

Thanks to TheLady for all the inspiration at the just get rid of guns node.