Quite possibly the most reviling of all edible food - if it can even be called that - known to man. Airline food is one of the many products of declining airline service in general. It is highly recommended to find one's own means of sustenance when aboard a commerical airplane. Airline food should only be eaten in the case of severe malnutrition or imminent starvation if not consumed. Here's what to expect if you happen to find yourself in one of these emergency situations:

  • Do not panic. Whatever they may tell you, airline food will not kill you. It may cause severe discomfort, nausea, severe emotional complications resulting from use, and even vomiting, but it will not kill you. Eat calmly and only on of the above complications may actually result.
  • Unwrap fully This one may seem like a no brainer, but it can actually catch many people off guard for two main reasons. First of all there is a lot packaging, and it's very hard to get it all off. Secondly, it is very hard to tell the packaging from the actual food. However, after thinking about it, it really makes little difference. The packaging tastes no worse than the food itself, so enjoy!
  • Eat slowlyNo matter how severe the hunger must be to get to this situation, one must eat slowly while ingesting airline food. This has to do with the fact that when one is suffering from severe hunger as one must be to resort to this, it is never a good idea to eat fast. This holds especially true due to the volatile chemicals found in airline food. It is imperative that one eat slowly.
  • Consume out of sight of others. To eat sickening airline food is one thing. But to subject others to the horror of observing another ingest airline food is downright sinful and a tremendous breach of etiquette. It is one thing to be forced to eat airline food, but it is another to subject others to nearly the same kind of torture. Please, please refrain from eating airline food in front of others unless they themselves are forced to eat as well.