Sometimes you try to do too much.
Sometimes I forget what "Give everything you can to everyone you know" really means.
I am sorry. At one time I lost the road.
At one time I knew a beautiful young woman who needed my help to get where she wanted to go. She was cute and funny and had big dreams. I wanted to help her to reach her goals and realize those dreams. The only way I could do that was by marrying her. We knew each other for four months when we got married. That was a mistake, but you had no other option and I wanted to help. It didn't help that I was thirteen years older than she was.
Had I not abandoned the road at the time of my marriage, I never would have gotten married. The signs were right in front of my face. On the drive to the church, it began to rain so hard that the roads became impossible to navigate, making my best man and I an hour late for the ceremony. Then the bishop who presided over the marriage only spoke Spanish, so the vows I agreed to were asked in a language I do not understand.
Marrying someone you barely know is a terrible mistake. There are times when it comes together, but most of the time your hasty actions cause an unravelling. That is what happened in my situation. I only know that I wanted to help her and that I loved her, but that love was not the kind that validates a concept like marriage. We grew apart daily. She surrendered her independent spirit in order to lean on me and become too dependent upon me, changing her from a fiery young woman filled with hopes and dreams to someone who too easily accepted defeat. We have almost nothing in common and don't relate to each other. We became two strangers who occupy the same space.
I have left her and that is all there is to it. I will continue to try to help her and try to be her friend, but getting married was a mistake. Then again, there are no mistakes as long as we learn something from them, and I have.