I'm here, listening to korean music, with the silence of the darkness echoing the music through the air. Though I've never talked to Katyana nor Dizzy, I hope you two have a great wedding and a great marriage for true love is rare and a much precious thing.

Today was a day of fake facades and fake feelings. While still feeling the effects of the weeks past, I had pressing social engagements to deal with today. I guess I'll start with last night, when the day started it seemed so long ago. It's sort of funny. The day seems so much slower when you're going through it but so much faster when you're looking in hindsight.

The day was not even here yet, while dawn was slowly reaching its end. Another Brood War game with Dawadeving but at least it was 2 on 2 human. We sucked of course but I didn't mind. I was on the phone, with her. The nightmare of my dreams, the dreams of my nightmares. She's hurt me so much and even led me to start pining for a love long gone. I didn't mind today, as my mind was long gone. Drained of vital life energy, I felt drained so I didn't even say anything. I just listened. I listened intently, with each word, phrase and sound recorded in my mind. It may seem weird but I was more scanning the words rather than listening for meaning. Like I remember the words carefully and can play them, but didn't focus enough to feel anything for them. That was a great thing, simply because I couldn't handle anymore for the day. I was so tired that I didn't even write in my journal nor make a daynode. I wasn't tired enough to sleep though so I tried other ways to tire myself out.

I did my pushups, and my crunches. I read, counted sheep, even meditated outside. I sat outside, with my jacket covering me, staring out at the world. I wish that I would fall asleep in the balcony, feeling the seemingly everlasting cold of the evening wind, to spare me the warmth of the "human experience". Finally, about 7:15 am, I finally fell to the depths of slumber. It came over me like a shroud, and I never let it go.

Ring. Damn cell phone rings again. I look up at the clock. Damn its only noon. "Hello...". She replies "Hey! I didn't wake you up did I?..". I replied, "Nah...The phone did it..". It was one of my good friends and she was asking me to go eat some dim sum. I didn't really mind going but I felt like the third string simply because her boyfriend was going too. But, like a sucker, she whined and I caved in easily. We go eat across the street and we chit chat about nothing specific, and I even pay for the whole thing. I didn't really mind simply because she was there, though he is a nice guy. Afterwards, we played some Photo Hunt and DDR and I go run errands. Paying Visa bills and clearing my sister's Line of Credit took so much time and I felt drained after.

I get to Canada Trust and the girl that me and MrFurious think is cute is there. I still didn't know her name but I saw it today. Definitely cute but hairstyle in a bun didn't suit her that's all. Afterwards, I go to the mall and buy my friend her gift. It is her birthday after all. Off to home I guess.

I chill around for a while, feeling like a traditional couch potato but in a recliner. Feeling the effects of the lack of the recommended 8 hours of sleep, I napped for about two hours before I ran to the shower. I soaked there, like a sponge and loved every moment of it. It seemed to be the only thing that keeps me sane lately. Afterwards, I wait for another half hour, then head off with MrFurious to our friend's birthday shindig.

We get there about 7 but don't get to eat until about 8:45. Didn't mind, simply because I haven't eaten much within the past few months anyways. We just talked, watched tv, watched a home video, and talked. One of the girls there were playing with my sunglasses but I didn't mind. Just be nice and smile. Afterwards, we head over to Silvercity to play some bowling but they said that we have to wait about 45 minutes. We head over to Oscar's Billiards but we decided to go to Hot Shots because of either a lack of quality tables or quality asian women. Superficial and shallow, I didn't care. It was a night to celebrate. We play until about 12:20 then we head over to an arcade and play some games. About 12:50, one of our buddies called and said that he was coming but was late again. Fucker said he was going to meet us in 30 minutes but was still about 20 minutes away at the time his 30 minutes was up. Fucker didn't even call. While it was no great inconvenience, I didn't appreciate being lied to nor did I like the convenient lack of consideration. Dawadeving gave me a ride home and now I'm here.

I wasn't in the best of moods the whole day but due to the social calls, I had to be pleasant nonetheless. It would be particularly unsettling for my friends if they saw me in a bad mood when I only see them once in a blue moon. It was tiring, as it was taxing on my willpower. Again, tomorrow night, I have to go see my other friends at Richmond Sushi for another get-together. While I know that I will enjoy tomorrow while I greatly enjoyed today, it will be a taxing weekend. In the end, I'm still on the cell phone and probably will be until the break of morning which will result in tiredness at work. But I see three good things in this: I finally got the FinKL song that I've been searching for, had fun today, and a high chance that I will tomorrow as well. Let this night be calming as much as an eye opener. Speak words slowly for I can no longer understand your words clearly but I listen...

Whisper lightly, for I no longer am able to listen intently. I listen to every word, grasp every breathe, hear every gasp. I promise that I will think about them then but for now, let the darkness cover me and heal my tired soul..