The
English Language
We'll
begin with
box, and the
plural is
boxes;
But the plural of
ox should be
oxen, not oxes.
Then one
fowl is
goose, but two are
called geese
Yet the plural of
moose should never be meese.
You may find a
lone mouse or a whole lot of
mice,
But the plural of
house is
houses, not hice.
If the plural of
man is always called
men,
When couldn't the plural of
pan be called
pen?
The
cow in the plural may be
cows or
kine,
But the plural of
vow is
vows, not
vine.
And I
speak of a
foot, and you show me your
feet,
But I give a
boot - would a
pair be called
beet?
If
one is a
tooth and a whole
set are
teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?
If the singular is
this and plural is
these,
Why shouldn't the plural of
kiss be nicknamed
kese?
Then one may be
that, and three may be
those,
Yet the plural of
hat would never be
hose;
We speak of a
brother, and also of
brethren,
But though we say
mother, we
never say methren.
The
masculine pronouns are
he,
his and
him,
But imagine the
feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our
English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest
language you ever did
see.
I take it you
already know
Of
tough and
bough and
cough and
dough?
Others may
stumble, but not you
On
hiccough,
thorough,
slough, and
through?
Well done! And now you
wish, perhaps
To
learn of less
familiar traps?
Beware of
heard, a
dreadful word
That looks like
beard and sounds like
bird.
And
dead; it's said like
bed, not
bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it
deed!
Watch out for
meat and
great and
threat,
(they rhyme with
suite and
straight and
debt)
A
moth is not a
moth in
mother.
Nor
both in
bother,
broth in
brother.
And
here is not a match for
there.
And
dear and
fear for
bear and
pear.
And then there's
dose and
rose and
lose
-- Just look them up -- and
goose and
choose.
And
cork and
work and
card and
ward,
And
font and
front and
word and
sword.
And
do and
go, then
thwart and
cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a
start.
A
dreadful language?
Man alive, I'd learned to
speak it when I was five,
And yet to
write it, the more I
sigh,
I'll not
learn how 'till the day I
die.
-unknown