Solstice morning, and my Sun has set. Oh cruel
Sandman! Your fading film steals Love's light away as morning spills her photons all over my dreams.
Interstices of perception and imagination--I am a Divine amnesiac. I remember...
...living at the hippie trailer park out in the woods of upper campus, one bright-eyed ghost among many. One golden meadow among the redwood groves is all we need to immanentize the eschaton and live as brothers and sisters of one family. We share our food, our clothing, our possessions. I want to love all beings equally, want to be at home in anyone's arms, want to be married to every man and woman.
Yet here lies the rub! For among the many I have seen One to which my heart flies, Robin Redbreast. Her gaze a bottomless well around which my soul's bright marble spirals inward. Towards what fate am I falling?
But what kind of fire?
Interstitial season, this Spring's end, and Robin Redbreast is moving away. Sitting among the waving yellow grasses and lupin petals, she and I look into each other. This thing we do--just looking, yet a passerby might mistake us for enraptured lovers. There've been times we've gone for hours. Now there are two suns lighting the landscape: one yellow over head, one silver round her neck. This is our goodbye.
When the parting moment arrives, we are all crowded around her. Our final embrace and she kisses me on both cheeks. I turn away as another man mauls her affectionately. Like a schoolboy I wonder, am I One among many for her? Or just one brother among many brothers? The crowd stands waving to her back as she begins slowly up the hillside towards the valley's edge. I think I've seen her eyes for the last time but then she turns slowly around for a final wave goodbye. Standing by an oak tree, whose gnarled branches stretch ever upwards towards shining Sol, her gaze meets mine and they kiss, alone among the crowd. The unbearable lightness of being hits me then, and I float gently above the ground, holding her eye as long as I can until she goes--off down the road that curves around then up out of the valley. I go and sit on the netted lattice on which she slept, trying to accept her passing, but unable. With a shout I fly out across the meadow to land in her path. I lie on the ground with my eyes closed as she passes by one last time. There--in the starry outer space of my mind it burns--that smile.