I Will Try Not To Let The Media Rule My Day

Well, that's what I thought. I promised myself I wouldn't be drawn into all the media coverage, but I gotta turn on the TV to use the VCR. Static is annoying, and I don't get the on-screen display with a channel of snow or on a blank video input. Unfortuanly, I let myself get drawn into all the stories, all the video, all over again. Rocket fuel for my depression/anxiety/PTSD. I know, labels are necessarly all that accurate in mental health care, but for me, the media hype is unhealthy. I watch the video, hear hear the dipictions, and start mentally placing myself in those situations. I start feeling anxiety and dispair. Then I admonish myself for watching, and yet, also want to keep watching. I love to absorb information about events. I'm the kind of person that wants to be fairly well informed. I really need to avoid the media for today, though. It's all going to feed my anxiety. It sucks though. I want to know what's going on in the world, nation, state, and metro area. I'm not even sure I should look at today's paper, though, knowing that most of it will be focused on one thing, and that one thing will be 9/11. Any possible aspect that can be covered. The Des Moines Register even has a special 9/11 edition in it. America Remembers? America hasn't forgotten! I mean, only someone who's spent over a year in a very, very, deep dark closet, or is too young to be able to remember, has no recollection of 9-11. How the fuck do you forget a day of incredible horror? Even the most optimistic had to have serious doubts about humanity that horrible day. I bet the most religious, right up to Pope John Paul II had their religion shaken that day. I'm sure that even for the briefiests moments - the highest priests, shamans, rabbis, immams, clarics, and other Holy persons - all had to have questioned the existance of a Higher Power that terrible day. As the earth below suddered under those falling pillars of humankind's hopes, dreams, and ingenuity, our souls shook down to the very core of our collective being. It's one thing to mark the anniversery; it's yet another to rehash every teary interview, every moment of terror caught on video, the mosiac of mayhem and a collage of devistation and human suffering, both physical and emotional. I can rehash it all in my mind just perfectly. It's all too real for me, even if I did watch it all on TV; I don't need Memorex. I guess unless you stay in a sealed room all day, without watching TV, listening to the radio, browsing the net, or reading the newspaper, you really can't avoid it. I certainly don't think I could avoid it in public.

Hopefully, I haven't pissed you off enough yet to make you downvote and stop reading.

I certainly do feel for those who lost friends and family in the tragedy of 9-11. I certainly wouldn't downplay the signifigance or the need for people to be able to gather in respect, rememberance, and emotional outpouring. I have nothing but respect for the victims, the heros, the survivors of the WTC disaster. The intensity if the media hype is almost too much, though. Yesterday, I noted that I had a few IRC conversations about how Orwellian the media push seemed to be. With all the economic scandle, Bush seems hell bent on invading Iraq. Then there was raising the alert from from Yellow to Orange. My internal dialog is screaming out," Wag the Dog!!" I think the media and government are keeping us in a state of terror more than the terrorists are. We conviently get "new" video footage, where this threat is made, or someone describes Osama bin Laden's reaction to the destruction, or Osama himself talking about it on a tape. Not too much, just a bit at a time. Just enough to keep up going, keep us terrorified, keep up willing to give up liberty for security. Makes me wonder what stories are getting buried, either underreported or unreported. I have a feeling this is going to be a big topic at my next group cognitive therapy session, and probably my next individual session as well. Writing this has helped me, though.