What happens when you combine 11 love-struck metal d00dz, one bikini-clad, tattooed nymph, and a fake personal ad? You get Hessian Love.

The pranksters responsible for this web page posted a personal ad on Love@AOL.com for a female metal-head, even including a picture of her in a Confederate flag bikini. She claimed to look like Lita Ford and even exclaimed, "i get crazy when i'm drunk!" (sic).

As you might imagine, love-struck Ozzy fans from across the country wrote in, trying to turn "Metalchick's" head. Here's a sample:

I'm a metal dude with long hair and tats who loves to party at all hour of the night. i am 6'4'' 210# long (to my ass) hair, played in sf bands for 13 years. i have 5 ozzy tats and 2 dio tats. what can i say, i luv sabbath. new in la , saw your add for more info and photo pleez wright back. we need to hook up and get shitfaced. did i mention i'm hung like tommy lee?

It just goes to show that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast.