Adam Bottomley RIP

I'm not a daylogger.

Never have been really.

Today, however, I feel should be recorded in the database.

Today I watched my cousin get buried. Why on earth should I node such an event? I can't answer your question. I'm quite drunk. Drunk on alcohol bought for me from wellwishers.

We arrived at my auntie's house, around about 12:30pm. I hadn't seen her since October, when my eldest brother had got married. And likewise, I hadn't seen my cousin, Adam, since then either.

Adam Bottomley was diagnosed with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy when he was 4 years old. Last week, aged only 18, he died, due to respiratory problems.

Adam had a slightly younger brother, named Thomas. Together we used to spend those long summer days. Them and the next door neighhbour, Wendy. Wendy was a couple of years younger than me, and Adam was about 5 years younger than me. Wendy and I used to mess about, we even acted out silly scenes from Home & Away (including my first Kiss).

I arrived at his house at about 12:30pm. It was hard, seeing so many new faces, all mourning Adam's loss. I spoke too Adam's next door neighbour. Unique because she is exactly 70 years older than me. Her husband was in World War I. Amazing, that she was middle aged during The Beatles.

Adam. He never complained, sometimes he got angry that people treated him differently, but he never complained. DAMN IT. I would trade places with him, it isn't fair that he should be gone now. He was an inspiration to so many.

When we got to the church (after the 10mph procession through Thornton), I was at the front. It was a Baptist church... I don't know what they are like in America, but they are very Happy Clappy in England. The minister was very good (the organist was a little too rock 'n' roll for my liking).

The minister told us all that Adam was leant to us, and that we should be thankful for the time we had. I'm not Christian, but I agree with him in principal. Adam knew he had only a short time available...when we first realize that we have 'only' 80 years or so, we panic. I bet Adam did too when he knew he was going to die before he was in his mid-twenties. Because he knew he was going to die early, Adam never complained about being effectively paralized from the neck down. He was incredibaly brave.

When he was about 6 years old, he went to Sweden, to see Santa Claus. On the way back, Adam was hungry and kept asking his mum, "Where's me dinner?". Judith, his mother, kept saying,
"The sick children are getting their food, you'll get yours soon"
And Adam would jump up and say "Where are the sick kids?"

Adam, you were one of the sickest kids there...and I'm so very sorry you aren't here anymore. I wish I had the courage to tell you how I really felt. Instead, I had to wait until you stopped breathing to make my feelings known. That is not good.

Your mum, Adam, was very surprised that I valued her so highly. And value her I do. She is one of the most important people I know. That she was surprised upset me. Had I not made my feelings clear?

Your funeral was attended by about 500 people. That's probably more people than will atend my own funeral. I hope you know (if you can, from beyond the grave), that we will never forget your bravery and your strength.

Also today, I spoke to Adam's brother. We talked about how we had grown apart, and how being a teenager sucked, and how it had driven a wedge between us. Despite our differences, I hope this can help solidify a bond between Thomas and I.

I also said hello to my grandfather, who rests in the same graveyard. For the first time in a long time I sobbed.

Why am I telling you? I don't know. I'm just letting it pour out...this rant is unedited, and comes from me, straight from the funeral itself. I know nothing witty or plith was said here. I'm sorry for wasting your time. But today, a very special young man was buried in the Earth. Although that really means nothing to you people. To me it is everything.