My mother is insane, and I have documentary evidence.

My parents left on vacation recently, and decided to drive to their destination. Today I received this letter from my mother (she's a librarian, this matters later), apparently sent just before they left, which I will now share because it's hilarious:

It's too early in the morning to call and wake you so I'm writing a quick letter.

If we die in a car accident, return the library book on kitchen table! Most of the craft supplies on the table are borrowed from the library so I could prepare for next month's programs. Return those also, except for the birdhouse kits. I bought those myself to make with the grandkids, so give the birdhouses to them if I die.

Hopefully I'll be back next friday and you won't have to sort any of it!


I honestly don't know why she felt compelled to send this when she could have just left it on the table with the library book. I have a mental image of going to my parents' house and finding post-it notes on everything designating who should be bequeathed said item. Nonetheless, this letter from my mother is still less morbid than a "happy" birthday letter from her mother.