Attention knitters of the world! Or of, um, here.

I love winter, I really do. Summer makes me sedentary, sucks every last bit of energy from me but winter is precious. I spent a single, misguided year of college in Massachusetts and that winter really rubbed off on me. I visited a few noder-types up there a few winters ago, and walking through the new snow from the T station to their place is a memory that's firmly lodged in my head. The Xanax I took for the bus ride didn't hurt the memory formation process one bit.

I love winter. But what I need is somethin' to keep me warm in it, and winter, at least to me, calls for the special and the handmade. I can do many artsy things, but knitting ain't one of 'em. I used to have a grandma who'd make me things, but with the arthritis and...yeah.

What I'd like (for christmas, if you will) is a matching knit scarf and hat in olive green and dark grey stripes of undetermined thickness. The scarf should be wide and long (you know, a guy scarf) and the hat should fit me with enough room at the end to fold it up. Measurements can be supplied.

And also: I'll pay you, and pay you good. I want this to be my present to myself, and I'm all for splurging, particularly to friends. And I'll make you something, too, though what I can't rightly say. I'll think of something.

Drop me a message if you're up for it. My warm, cozy head'll thank you for it.