My mother has worked in Human Resources for something like 25 years; the more time I spend looking for a job, the more I begin to think that she is the only even slightly sane person working in the field, anywhere.

There are a whole bunch of reasons for me to be frustrated by this, particularly today, but there are two three that stick in my head.

  1. Customized job application forms, online or otherwise
    Know why I have a resume? To keep from having to write out the same information over and over and over again. So why do companies insist on using proprietary web or application forms that require me to fill out tiny boxes with my personal information in them and then, if they're really nasty about it, ask me to upload my resume, the document I wrote to keep from having to do mindless, repetitive actions?
  2. Salary requirement conversations
    What a waste of time. "How much would you like to make?" Can we just accept as a given that the only real answer to that question is "As much as you'd like to pay me?" But no, instead we have to do this little dance that's really just a reason for the hiring company not to hire you, regardless of how well you fit the job. Also, and maybe my experience is atypical here, but I can't think of a single situation where the hiring manager walked into a meeting with me without knowing exactly how much they were going to pay me, that every last dime had been budgeted out. But they ask anyway because, I'm assuming, it's the only thrill they get.
  3. Bullshit corporate language
    Pop quiz: If you can tell me what industry the following honest-to-god job text refers to, I'll give you a cookie.
    "We currently have an excellent opportunity for a Support Specialist for our (location redacted) office. This is an exciting opportunity to join a dynamic team providing services for several products and services 24/7/365 for both internal and external end users. The current opening is first shift providing weekend coverage on a rotating basis. The Support Specialist's primary role is to provide prompt, friendly, courteous and helpful service. You will receive requests via phone, fax and email. All requests are properly documented within the CCC call tracking tool. Each issue is worked to resolution or escalated to the appropriate party as directed by the CCC Manager or lead designee. You will also conduct system monitoring for the CCC supported products and perform administrative tasks including, but not limited to data entry, sending out correspondence, and filing."
    That job could be located anywhere from a call center to the drive-thru window at a McDonald's.

Dear Human Resources Drones the world over: Your job has "Human" in the title. It couldn't hurt that much to fucking act like one.