I lie in my bed,
thoughts dance in my head
of the things I will burn
when eighteen I turn.

10 days til I turn 18. This is a turning point in most young peoples lives. Mostly for the things you can do when you turn 18, like smoke, vote, be a porn star etc. For me it is a big day because I will be able to pursue girls. Actually, not just girls. One girl. A girl who I have feelings for like no other girl I've ever known.

A long time ago I vowed to God that I would not date until I turned 18. I would give the years before 18 souly to him and him alone. Many people have asked me if I was gay or a Mennonite. I would just grin and reply, "Nope. Just waiting." There's a lot more sense behind it then just my devotion to God. To me it seems wise. I can concentrate on my school better. I only have to worry about being sensitive to my feelings and my family's feelings. It's less pressure.

Believe me, how I've longed to announce attraction to some girls and ask them out, but I've held back; keeping my promise. It wasn't really too hard for me, but it was a challenge.

Then she came into my view. Perfect and radiant in my sight. Not just because of a physical attraction, but because of her inner beauty. To me she is everything I have sought after. I am friends with her. She makes it harder to keep the promise. Though, I'm not gonna pounce on her right after midnight strikes on March 16. I'm gonna wait. I will slowly get to know her better and then maybe I will know.