This is the first writeup I've had in a very long time, for a variety of reasons.
Over the past year, I joined the
Maryland Crew Team, but due to a
scheduling conflict, was unable to ever really participate with the rest of the novices, and the
"veterans" didn't want a novice practicing with them. I then took this semester off crew, to concentrate on schoolwork and to think more about if I
wanted to continue.
I've met new people, been treated like an adult for the
first time by my parents, despite turning 20 in
a few months, gotten wasted and forgotten the entire happenings of
an evening, and continued living a fairly boring life.
As I look at my life, I wonder if I'm going
insane, or if
I'm already there. I can't, for the life of me, figure out exactly what the point of
it all is. I spend hours talking to myself, trying to work up the courage to talk to a
cute girl I've seen repeatedly on campus and in the diner. Then I walk past her without so much as looking at her, as I'm
scared to death of what might happen (be it good or bad). I procrastinate for hours, because I honestly don't believe I have any work to due in the next week, then somehow I end up staying up until 5AM doing
homework. I know there's no solution for me except to change, and I've tried, but nothing seems to work. I out-think myself at every turn.
Worse yet, my temper is wearing far too thin. I can barely hold back the hate-filled words that are on the tip of my tongue.
Everyone is worthy of contempt, it seems. My professors for catering to the
lowest denominator, my friends for being annoying and
nosy, myself for not changing, the list goes on.
The only good news is that my ongoing quest to raise my GPA back up to 3.2 to get my scholarships back is progressing fairly well. After my
dismal performance in Fall 2001, it's a wonder I'm even
here. Somehow, though, I'm slowly dragging myself out of
the depths.
If only I can apply that same metaphor to the rest of my life.
As I look around the campus, the world, it seems like I'm the sole voice crying out for
war. There, I've said it. I like war. I see nothing wrong with
killing people, and would go kill
people right now if there was no punishment for it.
Hussein should be removed from power. I think almost everyone can agree with that. Furthermore, he obviously won't step down willingly. And despite what the
peace protesters claim about how he's gotten rid of his weapons, I intern for one branch of the government, am a military brat, and know lots of people from the
National Spooky Agency.
They know far more about Iraq than
we have been told. I see nothing wrong with military action to remove from power an
individual who should never have been there in the
first place.