This is the first writeup I've had in a very long time, for a variety of reasons.
Over the past year, I joined the Maryland Crew Team
, but due to a scheduling conflict
, was unable to ever really participate with the rest of the novices, and the "veterans"
didn't want a novice practicing with them. I then took this semester off crew, to concentrate on schoolwork and to think more about if I wanted to continue
I've met new people, been treated like an adult for the first time
by my parents, despite turning 20 in a few months
, gotten wasted and forgotten the entire happenings of an evening
, and continued living a fairly boring life.
As I look at my life, I wonder if I'm going insane
, or if I'm already there
. I can't, for the life of me, figure out exactly what the point of it
all is. I spend hours talking to myself, trying to work up the courage to talk to a cute girl
I've seen repeatedly on campus and in the diner. Then I walk past her without so much as looking at her, as I'm scared
to death of what might happen (be it good or bad). I procrastinate for hours, because I honestly don't believe I have any work to due in the next week, then somehow I end up staying up until 5AM doing homework
. I know there's no solution for me except to change, and I've tried, but nothing seems to work. I out-think myself at every turn.
Worse yet, my temper is wearing far too thin. I can barely hold back the hate-filled words that are on the tip of my tongue. Everyone
is worthy of contempt, it seems. My professors for catering to the lowest denominator
, my friends for being annoying and nosy
, myself for not changing, the list goes on.
The only good news is that my ongoing quest to raise my GPA back up to 3.2 to get my scholarships back is progressing fairly well. After my dismal performance
in Fall 2001, it's a wonder I'm even here
. Somehow, though, I'm slowly dragging myself out of the depths
. If only
I can apply that same metaphor to the rest of my life.
As I look around the campus, the world, it seems like I'm the sole voice crying out for war
. There, I've said it. I like war. I see nothing wrong with killing
people, and would go kill people
right now if there was no punishment for it. Hussein
should be removed from power. I think almost everyone can agree with that. Furthermore, he obviously won't step down willingly. And despite what the peace protesters
claim about how he's gotten rid of his weapons, I intern for one branch of the government, am a military brat, and know lots of people from the National Spooky Agency
know far more about Iraq than we
have been told. I see nothing wrong with military action to remove from power an individual
who should never have been there in the first place