Early This Morning

I must confess my deed to you

As you lay there asleep on that miserable recliner

Swaddled in familiar blankets, breathing the old air, the old smells

of a broken old home that you know, that still knows you

I checked on you, many times, to just make sure you were alright

To fix the picture of that moment in my mind forever

As you lay there in the smiles and frowns and inexplicable gestures

Of some quiet, mildly animated, dream I wish I could fathom

You seemed comfortable enough, and warm.

About an hour before you awoke, I could not resist

To brush my lonely fingers gently, knowingly, through your hair for a moment

Barely a moment, not enough to disturb you, but only to feel your warmth,

Enough, I hoped, to let your Spirit know I was there

No bitterness or guile. No questions or demands. No expectations at all

Just memory of a million times before, that you never were aware of

When I looked at you, sleeping your beautiful sleep

I leaned down, and I tenderly kissed the top of your head

I don't know if I stole it, or I gave it to you, as things are

It did not seem either way, at that moment in time

It only, was.

It meant nothing,


It meant