One of the single most funniest things I have heard in awhile. What you do:

Dial 1-800-888-3999
Listen. Press 7. Laugh your ass off.

I made my mom listen to it and she accused it of being some kinda pothead joke. Silly mom.

For those of you who are phone impaired or are too lazy to do it the transcript follows:

Welcome to National Discount Brokers!
This call may be recorded and/or monitored for quality assurance.
For trading, press 1
For a new account kit, press 2
For quotes, press 3
For customer service, press 4
If you are a netlink soft benefits plan customer, press 5
To hear more about our buy-for-free program, where you can buy your own company stock, commission free, press 6
If you would like to hear a duck quack, press 7
If you know your party's extension, press 8 and dial it
To return to the main menu, press 9
Or stay on the line for the next available customer service representative.
Thank you.

Everything2 Editor's note, May 2006: Ameritrade Plus later bought out National Discount Brokers and removed the duck from the phone menu.