Robert Walpole is also the 'star' of the wonderful song "The Statues" by
Jake Thackray. The lyrics are given below, and it follows two
drunk and disorderly men through the law and order
system as they tell their tale...
Closing time on Saturday it was dark.
Me and Uncle Samuel were lying in the park
Toes towards the
moonlight, noses in the flower beds
But we know that what we saw, we saw.
She was naked, she was cast in
bronze, (in bronze)
Standing in the lake amidst the
corporation swans
He was millstone
grit, he was Sir Robert Walpole.
And we know that what we heard, we heard.
"Lady is the water cold tonight?
Or does the
silky moonlight warm your heart to me
Or must I
hanker for a hundred years again
And never-endingly gaze upon your
flanks, your face?"
Well, me and my Uncle Sam, oh constable...
Well, we were right on her side
Poor
darling she was shy and she had her pride
And nowhere to hide.
We were there, we saw the aged
squire
Shaking with a century of
petrified desire
Climbing from his
pedestal all stiff and sooty
And we know that what we saw, we saw.
He began to
tremble and to sway (to sway)
We were drunk as
penguins but we saw him clear as day
Clumping to the water's edge, Sir Robert Walpole,
And we know that what we heard, we heard.
"Lady is the water cold tonight?
Because the milky moonlight warms my heart to you
So let the devil take the park
attendant first!
Hy heart may burst, so I'm not waiting any longer lady!"
Me and my Uncle Sam,
inspector, well, then we both got to our feet.
Poor darling she was sweet and not very old and awfully cold.
We rolled up our sleeves we got to work
Went for him like buffaloes, like windmills gone
berserk.
He fought like a
tiger, we've got the scars to prove it
And we know that what we've got we've got.
We hung on like death, we did our best.
He was big and
gritty and he fought like one possessed
He was much too good for us was Robert Walpole
He put us down and out and he strode on.
"Lady was the water cold last night?
Was it the creamy dreamy moonlight warmed your heart? Oh little
nymph,
We both did what we could, but it's so strange,
You're
infinitely changed today."
Well, me and my Uncle Sam, your
worship
Well, we both feel something's not right, today
She wears a smile, her face is alight
And her eyes are bright, ever so bright, awfully bright.
Permission sought