Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi
Qui me ex versiculis meis putastis
Quod sunt molliculi parum pudicum
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
Ipsum versiculos nihil necesse est
Qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem
Si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici
Et quod pruriat incitare possunt
Non dico pueris sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos
Vos quod mlilia multa basiorum
Legistis male me marem putatis
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo

I will assrape you and make you blow me
Aurelius, you catamite, and you pillowbiter Furius,
You who thought that I was too indecent
From my little verses, because they were erotic.
After all, it is suitable that a dutiful poet be chaste
Himself, but not at all necessary that his verses be;
Which only then have wit and charm,
When they are erotic or not decent enough,
And which are able to excite that which pricks up -
I don't mean for boys, but these hairy men
Who can't move their hard cocks.
Do you think, because you read
About many thousands of kisses, that I'm not a good enough male?
I will bugger you and make you suck it.

c. 60 BC
As translated by yours truly