Call me weird. Call me crazy. Call me overly sympathetic. It doesn't bother me, in fact, I'm proud of the fact that

I carry helpless turtles across the road.

Yes, that's right. Some people try to be nice by helping old ladies cross the street. I figure the humans can fend for themselves. But what about our slow-moving, amphibious friends? I do a lot of driving. As such, I occasionally come across a turtle, slowly making his or her way across the road on which I'm travelling. Whenever possible, I stop on the side of the road, get out, and carry the velocity-impaired reptile safely to its destination.

Why do I do this? It seems to contradict parts of my typically Darwinian mentality. I am always having near-misses with squirrels, chipmunks, and other cute, fuzzy animals, occasionally hitting those unfortunate enough to run towards the tires, instead of away. I feel bad about this. But unlike the beloved turtle, our furry little friends have every ability to get out of the path of an oncoming vehicle. And birds! These winged creatures have the entire lower atmosphere in which to play, yet they come within inches of my speeding vehicle on nearly a daily basis.

Turtles, on the other hand, are known for their lack of speed. While the average squirrel can cross a road quite rapidly, the typical turtle takes many minutes to make his journey to the other side, leaving it exposed to the speeding monsters of metal, against which its protective shell is no match.

So be a good planetary citizen. Save a life. Give these wonderful creatures a hand. Prevent yet another highway fatality. It just might make you feel good about yourself. And, I mean, come on...they're turtles. =)

TheMistressKali has a good point--carrying a turtle to the wrong side of the road does more harm than good. Turtles may not be incredibly intelligent, but they do know which way they were going. Make sure the destination never leaves their line of sight.