Catchphrase of an unnamed Brummie character on the most excellent British TV comedy sketch The Fast Show

This is, quite literally, all he ever says.. It's hard to get the joke across in text, it's one of those ones that gets funnier each time they use it - the setup is usually something highly unlikely, such as a long panning shot across a beach, with a beautiful sunset, the waves lapping gently against the shore, a picture of tranquility, until after 30 seconds the camera finally catches a strange character, standing alone in a sheepskin coat, looking very shifty..

He realises he's been seen, looks deep into the camera, taps the side of his nose, winks conspiritorially, and utters the immortal line..

You ain't seen me.. right?

before looking nervously around and making a swift getaway off-camera.

Trust me.. it's hilarious when you see it..

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