A voice message is a recorded response to a once desired conversation over a telecommunication device. Typically the voice mail message consists of the opening, the status and the option.

Whether at the office or at home there are always areas of improving your voice message. Not only for the practical sense, but also for the proper representation of who you are, and what you're made of! Please note, that duration of voice mail says a lot too, so if for instance you like to keep things short and sweet, well damnit, let your voice mail be as such!

Openings are the doorway to first voice message impressions. That is, to the world of voice mail, what a one liner is to the gigolo. There is approximately a two second window of opportunity to intice or intimidate the possibility of a message to be left. For those that love getting messges, some key areas to note would be: tone of voice, dialogue and of course background ambience considerations.


  • The Plain Janer:You have reached so-and-so... (...zzz)
  • The Gracious Reception:Thank you for calling so-and-so...
  • Now if you want something with a little more ritz, females for example, have the privilage of hissing the opening with such remarks as: H-E-L-L-O there! (giggle) You've reached my little machine!...
  • and so on with the opening, examples, like all the flavors of voice messaging, are endless.
  • The status segment of the voice message is crutial if your opening has secured some interest. This area is the value proposition for your claim to popularity. If you're not home right now, does that mean people need to know where you are? If you have an image to protect, would it be important to let people know just how cool you are when away? And how much? Exactly, is too much?


  • The temptress approach is very open for creative elements: I'm just in the bath right now (giggle), soaking away my worries...
  • The efficient approach to status is one that may or may not need to state the obvious. Therefor if efficency means you, then either omit the status all together, or keep it very short: I (we) are not available (zzz...)
  • Funny can be good, but with such a delicious option, people that are not funny enough will fail horribly at this task, and therefor lend to regression. But with every risk comes a huge potential! Let your closest friends be the judge, don't be too proud to practice and ask, or that sexy guy that you met on the weekend may be scarred away from your stupid attempt to be funny! Allow the flow to be appropriate with your funny dialogue, if you chose a fun bimbo opening, try using some bimbo humor with the status, but make sure it's just obvious enough, to be witty!
  • Ahh, finally we come to the closing remarks the question that does not always need to be asked, the option. When allowing for options, one should consider all the possibilities. If you offer the option to leave a message, does it really make one feel obligated? Would you woo even those that normally hate leaving messages? Some feel that a firmness is the best approach. You decide fellow messengers!

    all those OPTIONs!

  • I generally find the firm tone to be a poor choice, unless combined with some brilliant humor. This comes across as an order and people usually hate to be bullied around.Leave a message at the tone. (yeersh...)
  • The pleasant approach may seem desparate or people may think you're really lonely. It's almost like a plea for help... Please leave a message after the beep! (yeah right, as if you don't read solicite bible stories in a cheap blue 80's cut suit, with a poly-cotton blend shirt that's your Sunday whites...)
  • The no brainer is a popular one, why say anything? Just let the opening and status be your message! It's hard enough to not overstate as it is in this verbose society! Or better yet, if you left the status as a blank, there's always a cut-to-the quick option statement Go! (...beep!)
  • Again I do stress pure creativity, fellow noders may have some personal favorites in the messaging arena, let's rip off each others' great messages for a lifetime of options that say ME in my messages!
  • Let yourself be known! But hide that which is best left to be discovered after a 6 month relationship, lots drunken moments, with dominating car DJ-nazi mood swings and insecure nights out be the final axe. Don't let your voice mail shut doors on you now! Especially those that could be slammed in your face much later!

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