Peter was deeply troubled. Only one person could possibly help him, the old wizard Yurggl.

So Peter walked through the enchanted forest, nervously watching the shining eyes of the many ghouls and goblins silently observing from the branches. He had good reason to be nervous. For only last week a small boy had entered the trees and a week later all that remained of him was a pile of bones.

What possessed young Peter to take such a terrible risk by walking through the forest? Well, Peter was in love, in love with a beautiful and yet capricious princess, Helen. She had agreed to marry him but on one condition, he must first remove a limb from a member of his family. The wretch was so smitten that he could not live without the ethically challenged yet gorgeous Helen.

After his worrying journey Peter arrived at the gnarled and hyper-intelligent Yurggl's workshop. Accompanying the wizard was his young apprentice "Bill". Peter could see immediately that Bill was in fact a rather attractive young woman disguised as a man. A secret Yurggl's failing eyes had yet to learn.

Yurggl was busy and listened impatiently to Peter's story.

Bah! Love! What do I care for your foolish romance.

Abruptly, the wizard signalled that he had heard enough and indicated that Peter should speak to Bill as he had work to do and no time for nonsense.

So Peter poured out his tormented heart to Bill, explaining his sorry predicament, saying that surely only some wizardry come save him from a life of loneliness and despair. When Peter talked about Princess Helen the wizard's assistant agreed that she was indeed surely the fairest of them all, and if Bill was really a man Peter would have sworn that was a look of lust upon his face.

Up until then Peter had been so obsessed with his own problems that he hadn't sated his curiosity about the cross-dressing Bill. But now he could contain himself no longer. "Bill" turned out to be Leda. She explained that only boys were allowed to be wizards and as a girl the only sorcerous options open to her were in the witching line. Leda said she had a powerful dislike of black cats and broomsticks and so felt compelled to lead this double-life.

Leda was glad that Peter had taken some interest in her and, to be truthful, Peter were his heart not already set on another, would surely have run to the ends of the earth for her. For even in disguise it was clear that she was both beautiful and a good listener. Leda agreed to help Peter and swing things with the old Wizard. Leave it to me she said. But first I need to know all about your family members. After Peter had told Leda about about his brother, sister, mother and uncle Leda left for a brain-storming session with Yurggl.

After an hour, although it seemed much longer to the desparately pining Peter, she returned smiling.

Fear not dearest Peter, for all your problems are over!
Leda explained to him that this was a job that she could manage with her own apprentice wizard powers and that she would be happy to oblige for only a minimal fee. Peter was beside himself with gratitude.

The next day Peter had an audience with the good-looking yet frankly psychopathic Helen. He was accompanied by Leda and limping uncle Bob, the old sea dog. Although Helen didn't know it, Bob had a wooden leg, after an amputation at sea. Leda's plan was to use her unearthly powers to make the wooden leg appear real, fooling the less than saintly Helen.

The princess tapped her foot, impatient for the gorefest to begin. Leda quickly murmured her spell and began to saw at Bob's leg with an evil-looking, serrated blade of the purest silver. Bob screamed and shouted as if in the most apalling pain. Peter thought to himself that this was really quite convincing and much better than anything Bob had managed in the run-through. Peter glanced at Leda. He thought crossly to himself that she really shouldn't look as though she was enjoying herself quite so much. That might give the game away. All the same he could understand her amusement, Bob's acting was rather comic.

Abruptly Bob, perhaps rather over-doing it at this stage spasmed in seeming agony and his arm struck Leda's knife-hand. At once Peter felt indescribable pain that was all too real. For Leda's knife had sliced through his finest trousers and lopped his penis straight off! As Peter lost consciousness with the fearful agony and loss of blood he saw a look of the purest horror on poor Leda's face.

But Peter in his faint was mistaken! The look of horror on Leda's face was in fact a smirk aimed at Princess Helen. For Leda was as dark in nature as she was fair in face. Her treacheries had been manifold, but chief amongst these (to Bob's reckoning) was that she had in fact sawed off his good leg! Bob's cries had sadly been all too genuine. Her evil plan had not included the further amputation of Peter's organ but she regarded this as a rather amusing bonus.

Princess Helen at once recognised in Leda a kindred spirit both ethically and sexually and they lived happily every after. Bob died of his agonising pain and poor Peter left the country to live out his days as a bitter and twisted eunuch, unable to find happiness.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.