Paragraph 5: Terms and conditions for entry to Utopia University Faculty of Science.

When you agree to enter a course of study in this faculty of science you agree to submit yourself to a peculiar discipline. The essence of the scientific training process is that your tutors will have the right to classify things you write or say as “right” or “wrong”. This is a practice which in the outside world of your origins as students has largely been forgotten. Since the Great Postmodern Revolution of 2020, the relativity and non-absolute character of all judgements of opinion has been almost unanimously accepted in western culture.

In previous ages however, supposedly factual utterances by people used to be classified as “right” or “wrong”, this barbaric attempt to rank one discourse above another is of course dehumanising and philosophically naive. However by submitting themselves for training in science the student accepts the limited applicability of the concept of factual correctness/incorrectness as a necessary tool in helping the student to an understanding of scientific practice. The interpersonal adjustment this discipline requires of the student is hereby formally accepted as worthwhile, and rights to compensation for interpersonal trauma as a result of staff excluding “wrong” answers are waived.

Signed ………………………………

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