Just so you're aware, pneumonia works differently in England as opposed to everywhere on earth. At least, according to my English mom, who was born and raised in the damp wastes of Oop Nuuuurth.

If you have some kind of lung infection with fluid, you have what medical science refers to as pneumonia. It is a serious illness.

If you are doing something particularly daft, like going out without your vest on, or a proper and sensible coat, you risk an extra-special, mother-damning variant referred to by the appelation double pneumonia. This is a very serious type of pneumonia which affects only children who refuse to do the sensible things of them demanded by older relatives.

If you are ESPECIALLY defiant and decide to go out to that concert with just a T-shirt on, without a proper vest or coat, in the cold and the rain - because God forbid you look silly or anything at a concert and value "looking good" over following the sensible dictates of a concerned parent, you risk getting the very rare and almost never seen triple pneumonia, in which your DIVINE PUNISHMENT for not listening to your SENSIBLE CARING MOTHER is to grow AN ENTIRELY NEW LUNG simply to drown in the fluids generated by your nonsense.

A British parent will often signal the importance of proper dress for the cold and damp with this tri-state, easy to follow PNEUMONIA WARNING SYSTEM. It's much easier to understand than the TSA's color scale, but most certainly gets the point across.

Now put a scarf on, you'll catch your death, and we're all out of Vick's and brown paper.

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