Scientific name for the first sexually reproducing lifeform to
evolve. The actual reason the little critters are so named is
their resemblence to pubic hair and modern red alga. Their
fossils show a "clear eukaryote,"
similar to fossilized red alga. Recently discovered in 1.2
billion year old Canadian rocks, these are the oldest reported
complex multicellular fossils ever found.
Currently, there is no common name for bangiomorpha
pubescens, so I am going to call them bangios
until the scientific community derives a better name.
(Slant-rhymes with Cheerios) /msg me if you are aware of a
In fact, little is known about bangios except that they had a
male gender and female gender. Females had
large spores, and males had small spores. Essentially highly
mobile plants, bangios had to come together in
order to survive. Supposedly, this was the first sexual
attraction, as well as the first cooperation
among life forms.
Then, one day, 1.2 billion years after the first sexual encounter,
Saturn devoured his child.
If you don't understand "Saturn devouring his child" pipelinked with Marvin Gaye: Saturn, or Kronos (thanks to machfive for the Greek alternative) killed and ate his own children; Marvin Gaye was shot and killed by his own father. Ok, thanks, just wanted to clear that up.