it was my silent prayer
that she might hear me
. i imagined she walks outside in her nightshirt
and, "you're still here?
"oh... i was..."
"banging your head against the wall
"...the pain, retributes the thoughts."
"what the fuck are you saying?!
"i love you."
on nights when i was feeling extra confident, i imagined she stays and talks about why it would never work.