it was my silent prayer that she might hear me. i imagined she walks outside in her nightshirt and, "you're still here?"
"oh... i was..."
"banging your head against the wall?"
"...the pain, retributes the thoughts."
"what the fuck are you saying?!"
"i love you."

on nights when i was feeling extra confident, i imagined she stays and talks about why it would never work.

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