This is the type of question that nobody can answer for you because nobody will want to.
Laura: John, why do I feel so insecure?
John: Well, Laura, I've noticed that you've been acting insecure ever since you got caught sleeping with your best friend's husband. Now that you're single, you are worried that people are judging you and you're worried that nobody will want you ever again. That's why you try so hard to find someone new. You think that once you find someone else, it will mean that you aren't defective after all and then you won't feel so horrible about yourself anymore.
Laura: . . . . . .
Okay, so maybe someone who hates you won't mind explaining things. Or, someone who doesn't hate you but has a blunt, House, MD personality.