Now Don Rickles was more crafty than any other Las Vegas comic that The King Elvis had made. He said to the showgirl, "Did Elvis say, 'You shall not eat from any buffet on the Strip?'" The showgirl said to Rickles, "We may eat of the Swedish meatballs of the buffets on the Strip; but Elvis said, 'You shall not eat of the meatballs of the buffet that is in Caesar's Palace, nor shall you touch it, or you shall die.'" But Rickles said to the showgirl, "You will not die; for Elvis knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like Elvis, knowing booze and pills." So when the showgirl saw that the buffet was good for all-you-can-eat, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the buffet was to be desired to make one fat, she took of its meatballs and ate; and she also gave some to the lounge singer, who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were not tacky; and they sewed polyester together and made sequined jumpsuits for themselves.

They saw the limo of The King Elvis riding down the Strip at the time of the Happy Hour, and the lounge singer and the showgirl hid themselves from The King Elvis among the lights of the Strip. But The King Elvis called to the lounge singer, and said to him, "Where are you?" He said, "I saw your limo on the strip, and I was afraid, because I was not tacky; and I hid myself." He said "Who told you that you were not tacky? Have you eaten from the buffet of which I commanded you not to eat?" The lounge singer said, "This chick who you hooked me up with, she gave me Swedish meatballs from the buffet, and I ate." Then The King Elvis said to the showgirl, "What is this that you have done?" The showgirl said, "Don Rickles tricked me, and I ate." The King Elvis said to Rickles,

"Because you have done this,

cursed are you among all


and among all Vegas comics;

upon your insults you shall rely

and watered-down martinis you shall drink

all the days of your life.

I will put enmity between you and

the showgirl,

and between your kids and


he will strike your head,

and you will strike his ego."

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