user since
Wed Jul 18 2007 at 17:16:19 (11.8 years ago )
last seen
Sat Jul 14 2018 at 09:46:50 (10.2 months ago )
number of write-ups
1 - View Unitedite's writeups (feed)
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 195
mission drive within everything
SWN seeks GSOH for amusement and education
Professional Procrastinator
Watch out! There may be dogs about.
most recent writeup
Locked Up and Locked Out
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Back to lurk after... 10 years?



What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

The past is yours but the future's mine. You're out of time.

Isn't this what your home node is for?

(I can't be bothered formatting this any more right now)

What is your favorite movie?

Erm... Fight Club? Possibly.

What is your favorite album?

At the moment I'm re-loving The Stone Roses all over again

What does your favorite room look like?

What kind of question is that?

What's your favorite CD to listen to under the influence?

The influence of...?

Seriously, these questions just keep making me want to ask more questions. I'll take a stab in the dark and say Infected Mushroom - Birthday EP

What's your Favorite Sex Toy?

A women. Is that a misogynistic answer? Ah well.

What is your favorite number?


What were your favorite toys as a child?

Chemistry sets

What's your favorite pet?

Favourite animal to have as a pet, or favourite current pet, or favourite pet of anyone's ever? Argh!

I don't have any pets as I'm a student and it would probably constitute cruel treatment to keep an animal in the dubious environment of a student flat. Back home we had a cat called Korky (after the Dandy character) who died recently, so probably him. Back when he was alive, of course - he's not as fun to play with now.

What were your favorite cartoons as a child?

SuperTed! Top Cat! And a million others that I've probably forgotten about but spark a warm rush of nostalgia whenever they're mentioned.

What's your favorite Dr. Demento song?


What's your favorite piece of graffiti?


What's your excuse?


What's your point?

A 0.5mm polymer graphite HB.

What do you wanna do with your life?

Live it

What Colour Is Your Parachute?

Oooh. Either blood red or neon.

"What's your damage?"

I wanted to make a FF7 joke here but it's been many years since i played any console games :(

What is your objective?

To get to the end of this set of questions before the football starts

What's your social security number?

Oh, it's J96... hmmm. I can't remember it - I'll have to get back to you.

What was your first date like?

Short, sharp, sweet

What do you hate about your job?

Its non-existence

What are your ideas on parenting?

Complex and lengthy. Largely instinctive. Non-violent. Constructive.

Who are your ten favorite noders?

Jet-Poop for the C!.

voltaireontoast for having excellent taste in football teams

That is all.

What colour are your panties?

Panties?!? Who have you been talking to???


What colour Are Your Parachute Pants?

Blood red or neon, I guess...

What colour is your cubicle?

The colour of regurgitated air.

What's on your desk?

Gloves (it's cold outside). Phone (just sent a text). Bag (really should be working...)

Who is your favourite obscure historical character?

The Norbertijnen of Floreffe

What is your most obscure album?

Living Like a Refugee by Sierra Leone’s Refugee All Stars

What is your favourite Limerick?

I once knew a man from Nantucket.

Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.

What is your Nom De rap?

Erm.. Unitedizzle?

What does your soul look like?

Have you ever seen a neutron bomb in love? Like that.

What's your name?

Unitedite to you

What is your bra size?


What's your porn name?

You'll find out when you watch the video ;)

What's in your wallet, right now?


Debit card, driver's license (provisional), ID cards from 2 unis, blood donor card, casino membership card, bus pass. No money.

What's the ugliest part of your body?

I'm beautiful in every respect.

What's on your answering machine?

I have absolutely no idea, and don't think I've ever listened to an answerphone message left for me.

My god parted the sea, What can yours do?

Write this homenode.

What are your political views?

Left, liberal, to a fair extent but not extremes.

What is in your cd player?

My CD player is my PC, and that's hundreds of miles away. Possibly the Arctic Monkeys first album.

What else is in your cd player?

Possibly Half Life?

Who's your favorite New Kid?

The who the what now? My twin cousins are the newest kids I know, and I'm not going to pick between them!

What Went Wrong (In Your Head) ?

System Boot Error

What are your religious beliefs?


What did you do for your mother today?

Printed off my coach ticket home

What was the best moment of your life?

Impossible, undesirable, to isolate a single thing. Life is a continuous flow of good moments.

What do you see when you close your eyes?

The crazy patterned walls of a Playstation Net Yaroze Wipeout clone. I know, I have issues.

What music do you want played at your funeral?

The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work. Make the buggers suffer for their cheek in outliving me. Seriously? N-Trance - Set You Free

What's your kryptonite?

If there's a Hell and I go there if I die, it will be filled with blackboards and sandpaper. :(

Which celebrities do you have tied up in your basement?

I failed to finish this before the football started. Ciao!


Fortunately, I have an essay that needs to be done so I am required to waste time finishing off this instead.

What is your mantra now?

It's a mantra ray :D

If Your Life Had A Sound Track, What Would It Be?

Produced by Various Artists

What's on your floor?

Everything. Not this Everything, the other one. Clothes, books, notes, stories, legislation, cases, dust, pens, shoes, paper, more dust, coats, much more. Oh, my mattress as well - my bed's broken.

Who is your favourite comic book villain?

That big yellow guy. You know the one.

Who is your favourite Supreme Court Justice?

I don't really care about the Supreme Court, but Lord Denning is my favourite Judge from the House of Lords. What can I say, I'm a sheep.

What's your major?

My what? Oh, what am I studying? Law.

What would you give your left arm for?

The whole thing? Hmmmmmmm. A fully functional bionic replacement. Vast sums of money. Eternal happiness. All of the above.

I hate myself. What's your excuse?

I hate you too

What colour is your soul?

Deep red

What does your hometown smell like?


What's Your Worst/Most Humiliating Sexual Experience?

The most humiliating was that time i wrote out a humiliating sexual experience on a random website for total strangers to read. I'm not falling for that once again!

What is your most obscene album?

Kate Nash - Made of Bricks

What one article of clothing best captures your personality?

A caravan!

What is your favourite literary scene?

The last part of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, with the silent Indian whose name I can't remember escaping from the institute. Or Yossarian walking through the streets of Rome at night in Catch 22.

Is that the kind of scene you meant? No? Ah well.

What's your jam?

I'm not really into the toast covering, and the traffic variety frustrates me, so probably the Paul Weller-centric one.