A couple years ago I held a temp position at a certain "retirement plan" for a certain public transit operation in a certain midwestern city. I did the mail, answered the phone, played around with Microsoft Word and generally tried to do as little as possible for the company on company time.
It was a nice job. Nice people. The pensioners could be a pain, but alls well that pays decent and gets me access to a computer with a laser jet printer.
One week that was just like any other a load of papers came through our office that had to do with Union business. I had gotten into the habit of reading through these stacks as I punched them in, because sometimes they could be interesting, telling as they did of the incidences which lead to the release of persons under *.*.* employ.
That's how I came across these letters. Apparently a certain Dennis * had tested positive for marijuana during one of the mandatory surprise drug tests the Authority bylaw enacted. According to company and union policy, no member can be fired without a romp through the bureaucratic jungle and, in certain cases, a hearing with the Union board.
These documents (officialised by various Notary Publics) were submitted to the board, perhaps to affect their decision of Dennis' continued employment towards the affirmative. They are here presented to the letter, with names sufficiently obscured.
To Whom It may Concern.
From May 1st of the year 2000 to may 31st I stared out on a month long 24hrs. a day a(ll) my days a week smoke out to celabrate mother day and my brith date. also wed may 17th I had a lot of friend over to my house. I often play with my husband because he don't smoke marijana. For this whole month I would wait until the children went to School and invite my friends over to smoke. Everyday when Dennis come from work i would ask him to play music for us. Because I don't touch his expensive sterio equipment for fear of brecking something. Dennis woud sit there for hours playing music and dancing with me knowing that I'am sick he try to make my life better by doing pretty much what I ask of him. had I knowth that smoking around him would effect him I woud'nt have teased him and smoked blunts around him. I were blowing smok in his face. A couple of time he come home and went straight to bed. i would'nt
lit let him sleep. I blowing smoke in his face... saying get up! We have company. play some music. But he would say he dont feel like it. so I blow smoke in his face to make him get up and play music. Then on may 25 he said he were test positive for marigana, I said no way. He said you you and your friends budheads got me fired. But I didn't know bout this could happen. This I swear if I had known I never would have tried to make him sit in the same room as we did and I ? would have blown blunt smoke in his face while he were trying to sleep all those time's.
(Signed) Linda *
(stamped and dated by "Official Seal" Notary Public, etc., etc.,)
My name is Cheryl * I am friends
with Linda * We have been friends for
five years and we always celebrate our birth-
day with each other, From May 1. 2000
to May 31. 2000 We decided to have a month
long smoke fest to Celebrate her birthday and
Mother day, So we smoke five blunts a piece
everyday for the ............... month of May
So every day when Dennis would come in we
Ask him to play some music for us and he did. I've never
known Dennis use to smoke .(bud). but he works for
*.*.*. now. but I always tease Dennis by
blowing smoke his way and asking ..... him if he wonted some.
(Signed) Cheryl *
(stamped and dated by "Official Seal" Notary Public etc., etc.)
July 5, 2000
To whom it may concern,
My name is Julia *, I constantly visit Dennis and Linda *. I like to smoke weed, drink beer and listen to the music over to their home. I have been smoking weed for a long time. For the months of April and May we have been celebrating Birthday's and Mother Day. It was a goup of people everyday. Especially on the 17th of May we had a party and the weed smoke was everywhere. The party lasted for 24 hours or more. We were smoking cigar filled with weed, we had two cigar a peice which contain one nickle bag of weed. After Dennis came home from work and explained the situation he had a bad attitude and begin going off on everyone in the house and asked us not to smoke weed in his home again. I agreed and promised Dennis I wouldn't. I have known Dennis for over 20 years and I have never seen Dennis smoke weed.
(Signed) Julia *
(Stamped, ect., etc.)
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
MY NAME IS DANNY *. I'M THE BROTHER-IN-LAW
OF DENNIS *. LINDA * IS MY SISTER. I VISIT
HER EVERYDAY WHEN WE BOTH INDULGED IN MARIJUANA,
BUT ONLY WHEN THE KIDS ARE OUTSIDE OR IN SCHOOL.
WHEN DENNIS ARRIVES HOME FROM WORK, MY SISTER AND I
ARE STILL SMOKING, AND THE SMOKE IS STILL IN THE AIR
VERY THICK. HE USUALLY COUGHS AND TELL US TO LEAVE
THAT STUFF ALONE, BUT OF COURSE IT GOES IN ONE EAR
AND OUT THE OTHER. I WILL SWEAR IN COURT THAT MY
BROTHER-IN-LAW DOES NOT INDULGED IN ANY DRUG
(Signed) De Wayne *
(Stamped and et al)
Despite these pleas of innocence, the Union board revoked Dennis' employment, and he was fired from the transit authority for violation of their drug code.