Once upon a time, my ex-girlfriend went out to eat at a dirty, cheap Italian restaurant.

During her meal, the urge came upon her to use their "facilities." When she went into the restroom, she looked about for the least defiled stall. Realizing it was all about the same, she just subconsciously picked the one with the most recognizable feature, as we all would. She noticed an open window above one of the stalls. This window was about 2 feet square, and had nothing covering it, not even a screen.

Now what I want you to remember for the rest of your life is this: a couple of inches below the window was taped this ratty, stained sign made from an old dot matrix printer. The sign read, "This is a window, not a door." The sign was obviously there to keep people from skipping out on their checks for $2.99 spaghetti. The sign caught my ex-girlfriend's fancy, and on a whim she ripped the sign off the wall and stuffed it in her pocket. To this day she has that sign is taped to her bedroom window. This whole ordeal saddens me, for 4 reasons:

  • People would actually eat at such a restaurant.
  • People would try to skip out on paying for a 3 dollar dish of pasta.
  • Instead of just putting bars on the window, the owners of the restaurant instead believed the sign would appeal to the good nature of the previously mentioned thieves, thus preventing the loss of customers through said window.
  • I dated a girl who stole restroom signs.

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