Apparently they have bears in Italy.
No, not big burly gay men, although they have those too. I mean wild bears. No I mean the ones with big claws and teeth and -- the ones that AREN'T human! No, I'm not trying to say gay men aren't human ! Stop putting words in my mouth!
Anyway, I have been informed that they occasionally attack villages. The bears, I mean. No, THOSE bears, not -- alright you're clearly trying to mess with my head. I have half a mind to run away to the woods and live with the bears.
NO NOT THOSE BEARS!