"All right, that's it. Mom, I'm not going to university. I'm going directly into computer consulting, making twenty bucks an hour and working ludicrous shifts for the rest of my life."

"Well, if that's really what you want to do, dear."


"I'm going to get a hole-in-the-wall apartment in the disreputable end of the city where I stand a good chance of getting mugged every time I go out for groceries, which incidentally are going to consist solely of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Jolt cola."

"I've always liked the city, really. It should make commuting easier for you."

"Why should I commute? In fact, why should I ever leave the place at all? I can telecommute to work, and have all my stuff delivered. That way I can stay glued to my monitor 18 hours a day. I could even save money on plumbing if I used a bedpan instead."

"I hear that telecommuting is very popular these days."

(longer pause)

"Of course, I could go the other route entirely and become a roadie for Marilyn Manson. I blow all my RESP money, and once I've gone through that, I could pay my way by washing dishes at dilapidated roadside inns. Don't you think I'd make a good dishpig, Mom?"

"It might be good for you to see some of the country, dear."

(strangled excalamtion, followed by an even longer pause)

"You know what? I don't need to do any of that. In fact, I don't see why I should even move out. I'll just live here for a while. I'm sure I can find a way to just comfortably drift along for the next few years, right Mother?"

"Oh, that's wonderful dear. It's so nice to see someone who doesn't mind living with their parents for a change. Young people today seem to think that it's something to be ashamed of for some reason. I can't imagine why."

(weary pause)

"I give up."

"That's nice, dear. Now, get some sleep. You have that university interview tomorrow."

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