(also known as: The Wellerman IN SPAAAAAACE!)
There once was a ship that went to space
and the name of the ship was the Bully of T
the launch went well the hull went up
strap in, bully boys, strap in!
Soon may the Weller-drone come
To bring us water and oxygen
One day, when strip-minin’ is done
We’ll take our leave and go!
She had not been two months from launch
When down on her, a great comet bore
The captain called all hands and swore
He’d pull it up in tow! (Hah!)
Before the tow had been deployed
The comet sped up through the void
All hands to deck, all strength employed
when it flew right past them (Huh!)
No line was cut, no comet freed
The Captain’s mind was not to cede
Since he belonged to the scavenger’s creed
He’d drink a comet’s drink! (Huh!)
For forty weeks, or even more
Microimpacts of ice at the door
Magnetic shields lost, there were only four
But still the comet did go!
As far as I’ve heard, the fight’s still on
The line’s not cut, the comet not melt
The Weller-drone makes his a regular call
To encourage the Captain, crew, and all!
SciFiQuest 3021: The Quest From the Black Lagoon
Done as a dare of sorts. Not an excuse for my poor lyrics, just an explanation.
The decision to replace a whale with a comet and not an asteroid is twofold:
- Comets in our solar system are far rarer (NASA mentions there’s 3,723 known comets today, surveys show that there’s more than 700,000 asteroids with a diameter larger than 1km);
- An asteroid towing a spaceship isn’t as exciting as a comet, given that it would be «easier» to look for a lost ship in the asteroid belt than a lone comet whose orbit might be very eccentric and with a long period; and
- I think the idea of hunting comets for their water is a nice homage to Isaac Asimov’s «The Martian Way»
Like many other people, I only came to know this song through the power of social media and the lockdown. In pretty much all versions that I found there were some liberties here and there with metric, squishing up syllables and adding anacruses to fit the stanzas to the tune. Expect such arrangements with these lyrics too.