The voorngk was thought for centuries to be a species of lizard, but recent DNA research suggests that it's nothing but a spiteful and malformed rodent. The adult of the species can reach a length of two meters from nose to tail, while the young are often much larger. The name is of Dutch origin, and is pronounced with an "oo" like the 'o' sound in "more". The "ng" is as in "ing"; beyond that, you'll have to finish off as best you can.

Voorngks inhabit dry, dusty, abandoned bandshells and skating rinks throughout the Midwest. They are shy, fretful, and overserious. Their young are born in late spring, semiconscious and lacking eyes. They do not nurse, but merely languish until strong enough to hunt.

The typical Voorngk is hairless, with scaly skin and a large heavy tail. Their coloration varies, but most commonly they have wide brown or dark gray stripes alternating with pale yellow. They have a long narrow jaw with three rows of triangular teeth and one hell of an underbite.

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