It's Alive! 

Years ago, I knew a man, in fact I married him, who could not sleep without enveloping his head in a blanket.

When I say “enveloped”, I do not mean that he drew the blanket up and over his head each night, or simply wrapped a blanket around his head like a modified turban. I am saying that the man took a white twin size cotton blanket and wrapped it around his head multiple times until he resembled a giant Q-tip.

If he couldn't wrap his head ,he couldn't sleep.

He reportedly began sleeping in this manner because of his older brother. It seems that the two of them shared a room, and that his brother could not fall asleep without reading for an hour or two while the radio played. In response, he eventually discovered that a blanket wrapped around the head provided a barrier to both light and sound. Personally, I would think it would be a barrier to air as well, but apparently enough seeps through to maintain life.

This sleeping style has nothing to recommend it in terms of intimacy.

A cocooned head tends to keep wearer at arm’s length, literally, and cuddling is awkward at best. It’s difficult not to take that kind of thing personally.

While I understood the history of the habit and even came to joke about being married to "The Mummy", I just don't think there is anyway to ever be adequately prepared ones self for waking up next to a headless man.  It's just not the kind of thing that dreams are made of.

I just assumed that both my boys were aware of their father’s unique sleeping habit, but apparently, at least for one of them, this was not the case.

One night, at the age of three, the youngest had a nightmare and came into our room in search of comfort. Having bravely transversed the darkness of the hallway and our bedroom, he quietly approached the bed and began to get in.

Taken by surprise, The Mummy reportedly groaned and sat up.

My son screamed and promptly wet them both.

The sodden Mummy then rose up from the bed, pointed at me and gasping through muffled layers said in a Darth Vader-like voice “I am not your mother .Your mother is on the other side.”

My son swears he was convinced his father was an alien for years after this.

Even though our marriage ended, my sons assure me that he is still sleeping in that same way, head totally encased in what is quite possibly the same white cotton blanket he had eight years ago. However, there has been one positive change. It seems that the new wife actually sleeps with a blanket wrapped around her head too! The only notable difference,is that her blanket is pink.

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